I'm so goddamn alone and everyone keeps telling me to take it slow and enjoy being single but it doesn't seem like any fun. I don't want hookups, I want a connection. I know this makes me a bitch.

10-07-10 - The Betrayal of Captain Ahab

Now I know what it is like to be sorry for something I did on purpose.

10-08-10 - The Life of Brown

No one expects the Spanish inquisition!

10-09-10 - Kitty has a secret

People don't cheat just because their is something wrong with their spouse. They cheat because they are fucking cheaters.

10-10-10 - I've lost ten pounds.

I am so tired of all of this bullshit.

10-11-10 - Underwear dude is dumbfounded

Did you know you could agree to things and then do the opposite? This continues to surprise me.

10-12-10 - keeping up appearances

Thanks for the joke Spongebob.

10-13-10 - Resume

Consistently manage an ever changing array of challenging obstacles.

10-14-10 - Ballad of Mary Jane 1 of 10

I was also terrified of her mother and afraid she would be the same when she was an adult.

10-15-10 - Ballad of Mary Jane 2 of 10

For the love of god just use the words 'I want to kiss you'. Is that so hard.

10-16-10 - Ballad of Mary Jane 3 of 10

10-17-10 - Ballad of Mary Jane 4 of 10

She yelled like a banshee, my roommates gave me looks in the morning.

10-18-10 - Ballad of Mary Jane 5 of 10

Today I love that little girl like my own.

10-19-10 - Ballad of Mary Jane 6 of 10

10-20-10 - Ballad of Mary Jane 7 of 10

I begged her with liquids streaming down my face.

10-21-10 - Ballad of Mary Jane 8 of 10

I hit a deer in her car.

10-22-10 - Ballad of Mary Jane 9 of 10

10-23-10 - Ballad of Mary Jane 10 of 10

One of two things are true. Either A. Love isn't that hard and it's actually devotion that counts, or B. I have never been truly in love.

10-24-10 - I'll get you next time!

Yes that's right I want to spend time with you QUALITY TIME! HA HA HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAaaaaa! I'll force you to experience pleasure HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Tomorrow the world.